Rhonda Lauritzen: What to Do When Christmas Doesn't Work Out

Rhonda joins us to tell the story of Heidi, who was a young girl in Berlin during World War II and a valuable lesson she learned about Christmas and perspective when things don’t go as you expect.

Episode Discussion Points

  • Holiday tradition of having biscuits and gravy on Christmas morning—which goes back several generations.

  • Rhonda has been working with Heidi, an 86-year-old who went through WWII in Berlin as a child.

  • Heidi came out of the war with hope and resilience—never losing her dimpled smile.

  • Heidi’s Holiday story has it’s setting in Berlin in 1944—when the situation there was dire with daily bombings and very little food. There were no Christmas presents—no tree.

  • Heidi and her mother decided their big celebration was they were going to make a cake and they had been saving their sugar.

  • Unfortunately, Heidi accidentally put salt in the mixture instead of sugar, so when the cake was done is was awful and too salty.

  • Her mother slumped on the floor and sobbed at this point and Heidi thought she ruined Christmas. And unfortunately that was the theme of Christmas of 1944 in Berlin.

  • Good interview question for family history: “Tell me about a time when you didn’t think you would make it.” Those are the moments that we learn what we are really made of—those are the stories family wants to hear—how you made it (without sugar coating it), what you learned, and how you leaned on God—and how it made you into the person you are today.

  • If you need a good Christmas gift idea—give someone you love the gift of recording their story (even on your phone) this holiday season.

Lessons

  • “Sometimes the happy ending is in the bigger story arc. The bright side comes from carrying on and surviving.”

  • Sometimes we have seasons where we feel we are losing battles—but keep trying.

  • “Whatever you’re feeling right now is okay.”

  • Its okay to sob on the floor and then get up the next day and keep living.

  • Try to keep a broader perspective in hard times and a hope that things will get better.

  • If you are having a good and happy holiday season, be aware of those who may be struggling. Ask God to help you find and help someone in need.

  • Be sure to follow God-thoughts to be kind to someone.

  • When we have hard times or are going through grief, depression or financial challenges (even and especially during the holidays) sometimes it helps us have empathy for others in their hard times.

Favorite Bible Verse about Christ

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Invitation

Ask someone this question this holiday season:

“Tell me about a time when you didn’t think you would make it.”

Then listen and learn from them and their story (and maybe record it).

Connect with Rhonda

#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #hardtimes #Christmasstory #berlin #WWII #Christmas

Transcription

You can find the transcription of today's episode here:

Rhonda Lauritzen 0:02

Christmas of 1944 So if you can imagine Berlin was the most bombed capital city of any city in Europe. They've been getting bombardments, you know, for years. They get work woken up in the middle of the night and they'd have to go down to the bomb shelters, and they were exhausted and they, they were starving. They didn't have a lot for Christmas. I mean, when I say they didn't have a lot, I mean, there was no Tanenbaum was not going to be a Christmas tree. There were no presents.

Tamara Anderson 0:35

Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host Tamraa K Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.

Tamara Anderson 1:00

My guest today has been telling stories since she was a young girl. She received a cassette recorder for Christmas when she was 10 years old, and followed her six older brothers around constantly asking questions. Now those moments are held dear because they are the only recordings of her maternal grandparents voices. In 2007. Her family history writing journey began with the story of her parents, which became her first book, every essential element.

Tamara Anderson 1:31

Most recent li she was the writing coach to rob a genteel author of the number one best seller Quarks of Light a Near Death Experience. And I've interviewed Rob and if you want to read his book, or get more information on that, I'll include it in the show notes.

Tamara Anderson 1:48

Today she is a professional biographer with multiple published books. She believes that when you tell your story, it changes the ending. That is why her passion is teaching, coaching clients and presenting at conferences. She is an author. She specializes in writing life stories, collecting oral history and historical storytelling. Before she founded epilogue life she served as college vice president and a CEO. I am pleased to welcome Rhonda Lauritsen Rhonda, are you ready to share this holiday story of hope?

Rhonda Lauritzen 2:23

I am ready. Thank you so much.

Tamara Anderson 2:26

Oh, well, it is so fun to have Rhonda on Rhonda and I have known each other for a couple of years. And so it's taken me a while to coax her on to the show. But we with this special holiday story of hope. I thought it would be great to tap into her because she has so many interesting people that she works with on a daily basis and helping write their personal and family history. So Rhonda, before we jump into that, that story you're going to tell us today would you mind sharing a family Christmas tradition that you do with your own family?

Rhonda Lauritzen 2:59

Yeah. So the sons, I mean, I think most of us have like a food story, right. And most of it is where our memories are. It's what you know, we gather around food. And so ours is relatively simple, but we have a traditional dish dish is that that's a high that we have biscuits and gravy the morning of on Christmas morning. And it's something that my dad used to get up every morning on Christmas morning and he would make the biscuits and gravy.

Rhonda Lauritzen 3:27

And you know, we always assumed that that came we knew that maybe it was from that it went back aways in our family. We always assumed it was my dad's side. But we learned the last couple of years that that tradition started on my mother's side. And we can trace it back at least five generations of women have been making this very simple but satisfying biscuits and gravy. And recently I actually traced my mother's mother to mother to Mother line back 12 generations and so I wonder how long back having this one thing but it continues on my brothers and their kids have it still so

Tamara Anderson 4:07

Oh, that is a fun family tradition. I love that. I know that something that my mother in law makes too. It's nothing I think she taught me to do at once though. I just I think because you have to add the flour and I'm gluten free that I've just never made it.

Rhonda Lauritzen 4:23

Biscuits and gravy are hard if you're gluten free.

Tamara Anderson 4:25

Yes, it is. I'm sure it's possible though.

Rhonda Lauritzen 4:29

My brother's family does a gluten free there is a way.

Tamara Anderson 4:32

Oh, there you go. Wow, that is cool. Well, Rhonda, today we're going to dive into a story and I'm going to let you introduce who you've been working with and why this story is such a neat story of hope to share the holiday season.

Rhonda Lauritzen 4:49

Okay, thank you. I am excited to introduce her. Her name is Heidi positing and she is 86 years old. I've been working with her for a few years now. are gathering her oral history. And she was a child in Berlin during the war. So she was nine years old at the end of the war, and her memories and experiences are incredible. I mean, it is a gripping story, but it's also a story of resilience and light. I mean, as difficult I don't even know that we can imagine how difficult it actually was. She is a beautiful person today. She never lost her dimpled smile, and just this light that she carries, and came out of the war really a very resilient and hopeful, wonderful person. And she's such a joy to me.

Rhonda Lauritzen 5:43

So I'm writing her story. When you asked for a holiday, A Christmas Story, I thought of her because Christmas is such a big deal in Germany. You know, they love Germans love their Christmas. And so Christmas is feature throughout her her story. And I wanted to tell one of the really hard stories. It was the winter, the Christmas of 1944. So if you can imagine Berlin was the most bombed capital city of any city in Europe, they've been getting bombardments, you know, for years, they get woken up in the middle of the night and they'd have to go down to the bomb shelters, and they were exhausted and they didn't have any they were starving. And in 1944, was just a few months before the war ended.

Rhonda Lauritzen 6:29

So it was getting really bad by them. And Christmas, just they didn't have a lot for Christmas. I mean, when I say they didn't have a lot, I mean, there was no Tanenbaum it was not going to be a Christmas tree. There were no presents. And she and her mother had cobbled together their big celebration was going to be they were going to make a cake. They had been they'd received three eggs, one of which they ate for dinner one night, they made it into a meal, one of which they put into a box of wallpaper plaster to preserve it for later. And the other one they were going to use for their cake.

Rhonda Lauritzen 7:06

They had enough flour, and white sugar that they were going to go all out right they were so hungry. And this is what this was their Christmas. So they, they were looking forward to it. And they they made it together. And they were just you know, loving being with each other. Least they still had an apartment, which many people didn't buy, then they'd been bombed out and had been forced to move. They had each other. And they were going to enjoy this moment. So they bake the cake and it's cooking, and they're just smelling it and you can imagine, like salivating and so excited for this cake.

Rhonda Lauritzen 7:44

They get it out and they just don't even wait for it to cool. They're just like, you know, diving in with their forks, and they put it in their mouths. And they spit it out. They just it was salt, like pure salt. Oh, no. What had happened was that Heidi was eight. And she'd been helping her mother bake it. And the salt was sitting there. And she thought it was sugar. And she added salt in the quantity of sugar. And ruined all of it. Oh, no. Like I know I want to cry. Even talking about it because that's what they did. I mean, her mother was trying to put on a brave face, but she just couldn't. She just slumped on the floor and sobbed.

Rhonda Lauritzen 8:34

They had already lost so much. And you can imagine like the shame and just the heartbreak of Heidi. I've made a mistake. I've ruined Christmas, I've ruined the one thing we get. And there wasn't a happy ending to that story. Like that was it Christmas was ruined. And that was kind of a theme of Christmas of 1944. If you were in Europe, they called 1945 Zero Hour where it was like the clock reset. And they started over rebuilding from just utter destruction. Hmm. And so why am I sharing this? You know, hope and Hard Times story? downer?

Tamara Anderson 9:16

Well, it does fit.

Rhonda Lauritzen 9:19

But I decided to share that story because for two reasons. One is that, you know, work with people in their stories, and I know that Christmas is hard. For a lot of people. You know, a lot of people are grieving and struggling with depression.

Rhonda Lauritzen 9:37

And Christmas is just hard for a lot of people and my own parents who were wonderful. We had great memories. They struggled financially every Christmas because they were business owners and business was slow and they had their theme song was If We Make It Through December, this is all country song. If We Make It Through December, we'll be fine. And so I wanted to just kind of have empathy So that was one thing.

Rhonda Lauritzen 10:02

And then the other thing that I was thinking about in preparing for this is that sometimes the happy ending is in the bigger story arc. Right? It's not in the individual vignette. Sometimes there's not a bright side. In the moment, the bright side comes with carrying on and surviving. And that's what she did. And she's a beautiful, happy, wonderful person today, because she survived. And she ended up saving herself and saving others later.

Tamara Anderson 10:33

Wow. Wow. So perhaps some of the biggest lessons here are, that it's okay. To have Christmases or seasons of our life that maybe feel more down than up where it feels like you're losing more battles than you're winning, as long as you keep trying. Absolutely.

Rhonda Lauritzen 10:56

I mean, there was this wonderful New York Times article, I read a while back about the unhelpful things that people say to those that are grieving. What Not to say to somebody who's grieving. Yeah. And what you don't say is, oh, there's a bright side, you know, look on the God needed another angel in heaven or those kinds of platitudes. Don't Don't say that. Sometimes there isn't a bright side in the middle of someone's grief. One of the people said the most helpful thing that someone said to her is that whatever you're feeling right now, is okay. I love that.

Tamara Anderson 11:37

That that is, so it's okay to feel sad or discouraged, even at Christmas time, right? Yeah.

Rhonda Lauritzen 11:45

If your cake was ruined, sometimes you sit on the floor and you just sob your eyes out. That's what you do. Yeah. And then you get up the next day. And you keep living.

Tamara Anderson 11:57

Oh, I love that. That's so powerful. Rhonda. Really it is.

Tamara Anderson 12:02

We're going to take a quick break. But when we get back, we'll have more lessons, tips and things you can apply to your life. Stay tuned.

Tamara Anderson 12:12

HEY my friends, are you looking for a meaningful Christmas gift this year? If so, you need look no further I have a fantastic sweet short story. I am so excited to share with you my new booklet it's called a broken down holiday. This is the story of a widowed young mother trying to travel home for the holidays soon after her husband dies, and being stranded in the middle of nowhere. And some of the hard things that she experiences and some of the miracles that you wouldn't think are miracles that she had happen, that it is based on a true story that happened to my mother in law. It's great for those friends that you're just like, what do I get them something simple. That's under five bucks to great stocking stuffer. So if you want to share this message of hope with your friends or family members, check it out a broken down holiday on Tamara K Anderson.com.

Tamara Anderson 13:14

I think another one of the lessons that I love from this is that is something to remember, if you're in a good place this holiday season, keep your eyes open for those who aren't. For those who are struggling for those who maybe need a little Christmas cheer into their life, maybe they are having those salty cake moments in their life right now. And they could use a little cheering up. So be be aware if you're having a good season right now that perhaps there are those who are not and pray and ask God is there someone that I can help today that could use some cheering up?

Tamara Anderson 13:52

Because I think one of the best things in my life is when I feel impressed to do something, and then I act on it. And it's exactly what that person needed right now, even though it might not make sense. In my mind. There's been times when I've shown up to somebody's house, carrying food or dropping a trade off. And I'm just like, I have no idea why I'm here. I just know that God is prompting me to do something for this person. So even in the busyness of the holiday season if you get the thought to do something kind for someone else. I invite you to act on that.

Tamara Anderson 14:32

Now. Do you have a favorite Bible verse about Jesus Christ that you'd like to share here at this holiday season?

Rhonda Lauritzen 14:43

Yeah, thank you for asking that. It's not an original one. I know this is a lot of people's favorites but I've for years had it taped to my computer. And it's it's Words To Live By it's proverbs. Trust in the Lord with online heart lean, not online. Own Understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct by paths. That's what we do in the middle of hard times.

Tamara Anderson 15:09

Yes, it is. And trust that whatever path you're on that the ending, which we're all aiming for, which is, you know, life with God after is going to be glorious, right? That's right. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, my goodness. Well, I feel like we need to, to pump up our spirits here at the end of the episode, because I don't want to leave on a downer here. Because everybody's life story has those ups and those downs and sometimes telling them the downtimes make the uptimes. feel more real? I don't know, I don't know how else to say it.

Rhonda Lauritzen 15:54

So, you know, I do a lot of oral history. And that's what my business does. We interview people. And I have an all time favorite interview question. I ask everyone. And I, I'm going to share it now. I wasn't thinking about that when I prepared. But I think it's appropriate here. And the question is, tell me about a time when you didn't know if you would make it.

Tamara Anderson 16:18

I like that.

Rhonda Lauritzen 16:20

Right? Because those are the moments that wring it out of us when we have our dark nights of the soul. That's when we have to lean on God when we give up our pride. And when we learn what we're really made of. And for some people, it's a time when they physically might be like a time they almost died like Rob's experience where he physically had a near death experience. Or a time might maybe it's in business, maybe it's when you didn't know if your marriage would make it.

Rhonda Lauritzen 16:48

Those are the moments that teach us and those are the stories Your family wants to hear. Because they want to know how you made it through how you felt, really don't just give me the sugar coated version. I want to know how you actually felt and I want to know how you made it, and what you learned and how that taught you how that made you into the person you are today.

Tamara Anderson 17:08

So perhaps one of the great things we can take from this is as you go into the holiday this year, perhaps see if you can ask someone that question whether it's a family member, or maybe a friend or someone at work. Consider this your homework. Because sometimes hearing those stories are what bonded us together.

Tamara Anderson 17:35

And especially if it's a family member, be sure to record it, pull out your your phone, record, record, whatever, grandma or uncle belly or whatever whoever says, because you never know who that story might help and change and impact. I know it's the stories of my ancestors, especially the ones who went through some really hard things that I think, well, if Great Grandma could go through that. Surely I can get through this in my life, because this is in me, you know, their blood runs in my veins, and they went through that really hard time. So I can get through this. Do you know what I mean?

Tamara Anderson 18:12

So I think it gives me a little bit of courage to keep going. Now Rhonda, you have a free oral history toolkit. Is it toolkit, thank you, a free oral history toolkit that you wanted to offer to people who are listening to my show today, because this is a great gift to use the holiday season or whatever else you want to start a family has you wanted to tell us a little bit about it?

Rhonda Lauritzen 18:43

Absolutely, yes. Because as you're gathering during the holidays, it's the perfect time to pull out a recorder, whether it's on your phone or a digital recorder, and capture voices and stories that you will cherish one day. And so the toolkit has some checklists and how to prepare for that how to spontaneously capture events or to sit down with someone and do a formal interview. Because an interview can be a great gift as well, that you can give someone that you can just spending time with someone is a gift or capturing those stories and giving them to your family. So anyway, it has questions and all those goodies. So I know you'll put the link in the the notes for the podcast so they can get it there. But it's free. And it's just all printable stuff that can prepare you for capturing your own family stories.

Tamara Anderson 19:30

Oh, wonderful. And just tell us where it is really quick.

Rhonda Lauritzen 19:34

Okay, it's on my website. It's an Evalogue.life. And then there's a button on the right hand side, you can just click on the free oral history toolkit or the link will be in in the podcast notes. So either way, you can get it right there and enjoy. Everyone should capture voices and stories.

Tamara Anderson 19:52

Yes, absolutely. And if you're someone who isn't sure what to get your family for Christmas, you have a few Other ideas, right?

Rhonda Lauritzen 20:01

I do. So we do this professionally as well. So we like I just think everyone in the whole world should capture their stories, whether you do it yourself or whether you don't feel comfortable, and you want to hire a professional to do it, I have a team of professionals around the world actually who do this. And so you can buy a gift certificate, and have someone in your life interviewed by a professional, and then you have the audio and the transcript for yourself and future generations. And I also teach a January jumpstart class, where if you're working on your own story, or family history, it's sort of a four week boot camp style class that will sort of teach you all that you need to know about capturing true stories and telling a compelling story, you'll end the month with a vignette and something you're really proud of,

Tamara Anderson 20:50

Oh, perfect. And I have to pitch that especially I ended up my husband and I bought it from my mother in law this last year, because sometimes you're just not sure what to get someone for Christmas. And as I read about Rhonda doing this, I'm like, Oh, that would be perfect for her. And she enjoyed the class. So you never know, this might be a great gift for that person that's hard to buy for big and it's meaningful, because they do want to write their own personal histories. But thank you Rhonda for offering that I'm so excited. And we'll put impro on that in the show notes for today as well.

Tamara Anderson 21:25

Now, before we wrap up, I just want to remind you guys that stories have important parts in our life. And don't be afraid to tell the stories that maybe are like the one today where it's a hard time. But like Rhonda pointed out, it is good to have that perspective. Maybe years later, you can see that Heidi survived the war. And and that things turned out okay in the end. So keep that maybe broader perspective, which is hard to do when it's like right in front of your face. So if you're struggling or someone you love is struggling, maybe bear that in mind that just be a support to them if they're struggling right now. And then pray for strength if you're the one struggling for right now, knowing that everything will work out in the end. Thank you Rhonda for joining us today.

Rhonda Lauritzen 22:20

Thank you so much for the invitation. I've really enjoyed being with you and appreciate the important work that you're doing. You're having light in this world. Tamra

Tamara Anderson 22:30

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website stories of hope podcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared or quote or a scripture verse that they really really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and have the strength to keep going. When things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, Remember God loves you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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